Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize