literally had 100 drinks last night.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
