You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The struggles of a small town man whore
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
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