Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
