her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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