why didn't you poke me back
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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