He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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