So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
