now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
