Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
high people should be assigned attendants
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize