I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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