i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
How's work?
Spinning.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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