He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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