Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
