the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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