I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
