Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
