i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
