it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
