I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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