I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize