it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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