We won't sleep together?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
