Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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