Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
