I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You are a genius and a whore.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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