I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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