are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
