do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
