what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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