Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize