Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
