On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
