if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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