the day after is always just damage control
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
