My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
