he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
