I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Randomize
