fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
