She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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