hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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