Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
