It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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