is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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