what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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