i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You pole danced in your parka.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
