He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Randomize