I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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