and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
