The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
