I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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