My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i just google imaged poop.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
