I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
