Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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