He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
