just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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