i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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