I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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