Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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