sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize