Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
