so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
