That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
