Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
