i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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