Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
