he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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