I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
