You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
In America we eat man semen.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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