Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
