i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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