but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He? As in you personified your dick?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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