Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
