Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
